“i feel a million bucks” i say to you. you assume ive made a typo, but in reality ive spent the past 15 years of my life systematically feeling every male deer in the world. their hooves are so strong, and their fur so soft.
What the fuck is wrong with this website
a pervasively anti-intellectual hivemind that denigrates anything remotely creative and interesting with constant unending cries of “what the FUCK is WRONG with this website” and “oh my GOD r u on DRUGS” like a coven of shrieking baby pterodactyls cognitively incapable of understanding that the one person who dares attempting to make an interesting or humorous post is forced to see each and every one of their incessant half a cent comments in their own twisted Dantean circle of hell
“I was doing time for armed robbery when I found out that my daughter had been killed. Her and my son-in-law had been doing hallucinogens, and he was choking her because that is supposed to make a better orgasm, but he cut off her air too long and ended up killing her. Instead of calling the police, he sat on her body for three days then dumped it behind a 7-11. I was so angry when they called and told me, I pulled up a footlocker that was bolted to the ground. I’m skinny but I’m strong as hell. My wife couldn’t take it, and she OD’d. They found her in the bathroom with one hundred empty bags of heroin. She’d fallen in the bathtub and hit her head on the soap dish. When they called and told me that, I tried to hang myself with my bedsheets.”
"that boy is really cute" "wait cara arent you a lesbian how can you tell" you know what. youre right. i forgot to put on my HomoSpecs™, which allow me to view all men as grayish blurry blobs. Is that jeremy?? i can’t even tell now that i’m wearing my HomoSpecs™. all men look like the same unattractive indistinguishable gray haze to me because i am homosexual
what the hell
how old is this
why am I just seeing it in my inbox now