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crazytezza:

theravenchilde:

cherabby:

"Man humans are lame why don’t we have like wings/horns/etc"

Humans can’t even handle having different skin colors how well do you really think that would go

#basically the plot of x-men

#literally the plot of x-men 



foxmccloud:

jjuuddas:

foxmccloud:

“i feel a million bucks” i say to you. you assume ive made a typo, but in reality ive spent the past 15 years of my life systematically feeling every male deer in the world. their hooves are so strong, and their fur so soft. 

What the fuck is wrong with this website

a pervasively anti-intellectual hivemind that denigrates anything remotely creative and interesting with constant unending cries of “what the FUCK is WRONG with this website” and “oh my GOD r u on DRUGS” like a coven of shrieking baby pterodactyls cognitively incapable of understanding that the one person who dares attempting to make an interesting or humorous post is forced to see each and every one of their incessant half a cent comments in their own twisted Dantean circle of hell



a brief history of star trek 

darlinjim:

1966 deforestation

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2009 urbanisation 

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e-m-e-t-t:

I only made this because I needed somewhere to put this pun.  



sempiternalink:

I can’t believe drawing a black line across my eyelids makes me feel 10x prettier.



aslightlyangryfeminist:

thatsonofamitch:

hitlervevo:

i wanna know the story behind this



















What the FUCK

aslightlyangryfeminist:

thatsonofamitch:

hitlervevo:

i wanna know the story behind this

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What the FUCK



awwww-cute:

"Sorry, all these seats are taken"

awwww-cute:

"Sorry, all these seats are taken"



humansofnewyork:

“I was doing time for armed robbery when I found out that my daughter had been killed. Her and my son-in-law had been doing hallucinogens, and he was choking her because that is supposed to make a better orgasm, but he cut off her air too long and ended up killing her. Instead of calling the police, he sat on her body for three days then dumped it behind a 7-11. I was so angry when they called and told me, I pulled up a footlocker that was bolted to the ground. I’m skinny but I’m strong as hell. My wife couldn’t take it, and she OD’d. They found her in the bathroom with one hundred empty bags of heroin. She’d fallen in the bathtub and hit her head on the soap dish. When they called and told me that, I tried to hang myself with my bedsheets.”

humansofnewyork:

“I was doing time for armed robbery when I found out that my daughter had been killed. Her and my son-in-law had been doing hallucinogens, and he was choking her because that is supposed to make a better orgasm, but he cut off her air too long and ended up killing her. Instead of calling the police, he sat on her body for three days then dumped it behind a 7-11. I was so angry when they called and told me, I pulled up a footlocker that was bolted to the ground. I’m skinny but I’m strong as hell. My wife couldn’t take it, and she OD’d. They found her in the bathroom with one hundred empty bags of heroin. She’d fallen in the bathtub and hit her head on the soap dish. When they called and told me that, I tried to hang myself with my bedsheets.”



expensiveface:

"that boy is really cute" "wait cara arent you a lesbian how can you tell" you know what. youre right. i forgot to put on my HomoSpecs™, which allow me to view all men as grayish blurry blobs. Is that jeremy?? i can’t even tell now that i’m wearing my HomoSpecs™. all men look like the same unattractive indistinguishable gray haze to me because i am homosexual 



I want a car 

so I can drive

to the city

to the beach

to the middle of the farmlands between Dixon and Davis 

maybe home but probably not



kimchicreeper: i want to send love and kisses to you but also a bag of warm poop to keep things interesting

what the hell

how old is this 

why am I just seeing it in my inbox now

what the

……..

wjat



thewanderlustlibrarian:

elysedc:

The ultimate dad joke compilation

Reblog for “Robeneros”